Buzzed Bands Podcast, Ep. 2 w/ Cold Blood Club

Friday, March 31, 2006

You're So Fucking Hip

Hey - you're fucking hip right? Does that make feel good about yourself? Well let me tell you something - hip is a survival tool of the weak. A way for beta's to gain a false sense of alpha-ness. A cheat code for Darwin's survival of the fittest. Hip is for the insecure pussies with little dicks who can't defend themselves physically.

In your hometown you got beat up by football players and masturbated five times a night thinking about one of the fat chicks in your gym class (who was still out of your league). So what did you do my friend? You moved to New York City and got a hip job in the village. New York City - where the weak control the strong.

Now you're so fucking hip you don't even have to work everyday - if you can call what you do work anyway. You're an alpha male here Poindexter, no more jerking off into an old sock thinking about Lara Croft for you. No way, now you get your hip model girlfriend to do that. So go be hip my friend - hip it up... with your goofy hats and dirty t-shirts.

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh - if so, I apologize. Maybe I'm making broad generalizations. Maybe I'm full of shit. Or maybe I'm just fucking with you. This might just be one big joke and not at all a reflection of my opinions or real facts. But I guess you'll never know because there is simply nothing more hip then irony and sarcasm.

4 comments:

Craig said...

I guess you're hoping people will comment, offended by your "radical" rant against hipsters but who cares really?! live and let live

my only comment is where's the music? (aren't you an mp3 blog?) all I see are random comments about how you went to this show and that show and how one band was great or not and how you ran into such and such a person or not. I don't get it...

that's my 2 cents since it seems you were looking for comments

Matt Saturday said...

Whoa... Ok, maybe I should take this post down. It's not meant to be radical in anyway. In fact, the reason I even thought to write this was because of a piece I read in the latest 11211 magazine. Basically, it was a very severe anti-hipster rant. It thought it was funny that it's in 11211, since it talks shit on 90% of it's readers. But then I realized that it's not offensive at all because NO ONE considers themselves a hipster. It's great really, two hipsters can have a conversation about how they hate hipsters. Everyone and no one is a fucking hipster these days - whatever.

For the record this isn't an MP3 blog. It originally was about NYC events and I slowly started adding MP3's into the mix.

carolita said...

I dated a really hip dude once. One of those lower east side, design guys, with the music and the technology and all that. (I'm an ex-model, so of course I am eligible in the eyes of hipsters. You have to look good standing or sleeping next to them, you know!)

He had a pretty big dick, so I'm afraid I have to refute your theory.

However, he actually WAS a pretty big dick, too.
Hipsters make the worst boyfriends. I'm very happy with my slovenly, ill-dressed boyfriend now.

Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?

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